Channel Surfing
by SailorKnight42
Summary: Just a couple of oneshots consisting of our beloved Senshi based on things we see on TV everyday. Chap 5 is now up!
1. Those Cookies Were For Santa!

I, Mizashi Hikaru, do solemnly swear that SailorKnight42 does not own the American baking company known as…*off camera* How do you pronounce it? Cu-ro-care? Oh Crocker! Got it. *back on camera* Where was I? Oh yeah, known as Betty Crocker. She is doing this just for fun. Though what I'm here for is beyond me.

Channel Surfing

Part One: "Those Cookies Were For Santa!"

The entire palace stood silent as the large grandfather clock in the foyer rang in the eleventh hour of the night. The King and his generals had taken rest in their beds, as did the senshi.

Rini, who had woken up about ten minutes beforehand, left her room and began the trek to the nearest living room. She could hear the fire crackling and she smiled, but she also heard what sounded like munching, crunching.

Rini pressed herself against the wall and listened as hard as she could.

"Mmmm…so good." No, it couldn't be. She's not that stupid. At least…

Rini walked around the corner and gasped at the sight unfolding in front of her. Neo Queen Serenity was sitting on the floor, her white pajamas littered with crumbs and multi-colored flecks of sugar.

She was busy devouring the last sugar cookie that was sitting on the red and green plate. Rini could feel the tears stinging in her eyes. The cookies she made (with Mako-chan's help of course). She could feel the anger boiling and it finally reached its point.

"MOM! What are you DOING?" Usagi froze, half of the cookie hanging out of her mouth.

"Nothing darl-"

"Those were for Santa!" She had done it now.

"It's okay-"

"He's gonna be here soon; he's gonna leave."

"Santa's a good guy," she said, trying to calm her five year old.

"He's gonna leave, he's gonna leave, he's gonna leave!!" Usagi swiftly stood up.

"Okay, let's fix it," she said hastily, ushering the child into the kitchen. Usagi rummages through one of the many pantries, this one being designated for instant and quick meals.

She quickly pulls out a packet of Betty Crocker Sugar Cookie mix as Rini happily grabs a bowl and a spoon. Usagi grabbed a couple of eggs and placed them in front of Rini, who had finished her climb onto the stool.

"We're gonna have these in no time, little one." Usagi cut open the bag and dumped the powdery mix into the bowl. Rini then crushed the eggs in such a way that even Usagi knew was wrong. She shrugged.

"That's one way we could do it." Rini stirred the concoction clumsily and began forming the dough. It was like she was teaching her mother how to do it.

"Squeeze it… and you put a little sprinkle on 'em." Usagi chuckled at how amused her daughter was. She carefully slid the gray baking sheet into the pre-heated oven.

About fifteen minutes later Rini had to wake her mother up and tell her it was time to remove the cookies. She let them cool, and then slid them onto the same green and red plate.

"Nice one," she said for no real reason. Replacing the plate by the fire she exhaled.

"Okay." Rini smiled and began to leave. Then she stopped and faced her mother.

"Mom, leave those for Santa." Usagi put her hands in the air.

"Okay."  
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So what do you think? Leave a review or two. And if you have any commercial ideas you can message me. Thanks!


	2. Free Credit

Alright here's number two. I would like to thank Aphrodite's Kiss and firnoviel for the reviews. You guys seriously made my day. Big thanks to BevinIsMyIdiol391 for the favorite.

As you know I don't own Sailor Moon, but I also don't own Free Credit or their songs.

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Part Two: Free Credit

"Nojo-san, do we really have to do this?" Yaten whines to the manager. Nojo-san scoffs and practically yells through the microphone, which scares the trio.

"YES! The Americans love these songs, even though there are only four. Think of the money!" Taiki sighs and shrugs, picking up his sticks. Thank god he learned to play drums along side Seiya, or this gig would have never worked out.

Seiya groans as the hat on his head slides down what seemed like the thousandth time. Growling he practically screams, "But do we REALLY have to do them in PIRATE SUITS?!?" The large sweating manager laughs.

"Of course! You're getting into character! Now are you ready?"

"Yeah yeah let's get this over with. You guys set?" The other two nod, and Seiya gives the producer a thumbs-up. The producer nods and presses a button. A small red light flickers on above the door and the trio set themselves for the song.

They say a man should always dress

_for the job he wants_

_So why am I dressed like a pirate_

_in this restaurant?_

_It's all because some hacker_

_Stole my identity_

_Now I'm in here every evening_

_Serving chowder and iced tea._

_Shoulda gone to Free Credit_

(Yaten reluctantly says "Yee-haw" then scowls.)

_I coulda seen this comin' at me_

_Like an atom bomb_

_They monitor your credit_

_And send you e-mail alerts_

_So you don't end up selling fish _

_To tourists in t-shirts._

The red light fades away and the boys breathe a sigh of relief.

"Thank Kami that's over," Seiya whispers. Yaten nods enthusiastically and Taiki nods solemnly.

"Alright. Take a thirty minute break and then we can start on the next one!"

"NANI?" The group bellows. The manager laughs heartily.

"Of course! Come on Genno-san. Let's get some lunch." They promptly leave the room.

Seiya screams, which is muffled by the soundproof room. He rips the hat from his head.

"HONTO? You are kidding me! Taiki, could you find out many of these there are?"

"He said there were four…at least, I hope."

"Can we go eat? I am starving and," Yaten pauses for emphasis, "there is a really great burger place around the corner."

"Burgers? Really?" Seiya mood changes instantly. "Well let's get going!"

"I agree. Maybe we can see who else is recording here." Taiki lays his drumsticks on the snare and pushes the door open.

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The next one will be a little more serious. I'll give you a hint: Disney. Yes I said it. Review!


	3. The Pink One Is Born

Holy crap in a can! This story has gotten such rave reviews! But I'm starting to run out of ideas. Reviewers! Help me! I've only got like three ideas left! I don't own Sailor Moon, as well as Disney or the song. It's the first one in the first scene of the Lion King II. ……………………………………SK……………………………………….. Part Three: The Pink One Is Born

The lines of people went on for miles, traveling by horse, donkey and even by foot. As they look at their destination they watch as planes, private jets and helicopters zoom towards it. Excited chatter is heard among them.

"I heard that she is beautiful," one says.

"Well we were told that she is actually a _he_." About five people gasp as the couple nod wisely. A boy of about thirteen says,

"Well I heard that she has pink hair. AND it's naturally that way." The talking ceases and is replaced by laughter.

"That's grand!"

"Funny kid that one is."

"Idiot!"

"But it is true!!" The person next to him pats his shoulder.

"It's okay kid, you have an over active imagination."

"Do not! It's really true!"

"Stop lying, Yusuke," a boy in his mid teens says, "it's bad."

"Wanna bet? Huh, Kurama?"

"1,000 yen that she is normal; that she doesn't have pink hair." Yusuke smiles.

"1,000 yen that she is, and she will be." They shake, sealing the deal. After a while the day changes to night and the groups go ahead, not wanting to miss the revealing of Neo-Queen Serenity's daughter. Some begin to sing. Strangely in African and English.

_Ingonyama, nengw' enambala_

_Ingonyama nengw' enambala_

Suddenly a lone tenor voice rises above the crowd.

Night…

_And the spirit of life_

_Calling (Oh, oh Iyo)_

_Memela (Oh, oh Iyo)_

As the mass of people entered the gates of Crystal Tokyo, a figure stood atop a hill shouting in quick and commanding Japanese.

Wait…

_There's no mountain too great_

_Hear the words and have faith_

_Oh (Oh, oh Iyo)_

_Have faith._

The immense crowd began to settle as Sailor Pluto and the King and Queen walk majestically onto the balcony. The African chanting is barely audible as Pluto bows to her rulers and takes the bundle in Neo-Queen Serenity's arms.

_(Hela hey mamela_

_Hela hey mamela_

_Hela hey mamela)_

Sailor Pluto turns and holds up the small, wriggling infant, showing the large crowd. They go ballistic, and begin cheering. The man's tenor voice, now joined with others, can barely be heard over the shouts.

He lives in you

_He lives in me_

_He watches over_

_Everything we see_

_Into the water_

_Into the truth_

_In your reflection_

…_He lives in you. _

Everyone bows as the child giggles happily, her pink locks tousled by the wind. Neo-Queen Serenity looks at the setting moon, and smiles when she sees her mother smiling triumphantly down on her and the King. He embraces his wife and looks at his daughter as she tries to grab a butterfly as it flutters by.

Somewhere in the crowd someone shouts,

"Long live the Queen! Long live the King!" Elsewhere a group of knights, headed by their general scream, "Long live Crystal Tokyo!" The cheering ensues. In the crowd Yusuke jumps around, cheering as Kurama grumbles, searching his pockets for the thousand yen he now owed.

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I love this one a lot. I'm still typing up number four, and I'll start up the other Three Lights Free Credit story soon. Review please!


	4. Guitar Hero Vers 1

Me: So let's see… Disclaimers for… Betty Crocker?

Chibi-Usa: Check.

Me: Free Credit?

Chibi-Usa: Yes.

Me: Disney?

C-U: Done. All you need is GH? What's that?

Me: -slaps self- DUH! Thanks little one.

I don't own Guitar Hero or the song "Old Time Rock and Roll". ……………………………………SK……………………………………….. Part 4: Guitar Hero Version 1

"Bye Haruka! Be good," Michiru called to her as she, Hotaru and Setsuna stood by the door. Haruka smiled as she wrapped her arms around Michiru's waist. Without them knowing Hotaru and Setsuna were imitating them. It was almost perfect mimicry.

"Now that's not a nice thing to say," she replied as Setsuna mimicked her. Running a hand through Hotaru's hair at the same time as Michiru did to Haruka, Setsuna and Hotaru shared a false kiss. Michiru chuckled when she saw this and attracted it to her attention.

"Oi, what's all this then?" Setsuna and Hotaru straightened up and quickly left the house.

"We'll be in the car," they shouted. The couple stared outside in silence. Haruka then exploded with laughter as Michiru giggled.

"Ahh that was a good laugh," Haruka said before kissing her love's forehead.

"Have fun at the party. Tell the parents the usual reason why I couldn't be there." Michiru smiled and untangled herself from Haruka's warm embrace. She finally left the house, waving goodbye to the blonde standing at the door.

"Now… what to watch?" Haruka made herself comfy as she channel surfed.

"Hey, what's this?" Her eyes grew big as she watched the short commercial. Once it was over she had what she thought was the best idea she had ever had. She dashed upstairs and changed into a white dress down shirt and her black boxers. Humming the song in the commercial, she quickly ran through her CD collection, finding the needed CD in seconds.

"Alright…track 7." She placed the CD in the player whose speaker system ran throughout the house, and grabbed the remote that controlled it. She then sped into Hotaru's room and grabbed the black Kramer wireless guitar that Hotaru used when she played that game Guitar Hero. With a smile on her face Haruka carefully slid down the railing on the stairs. Pulling on her socks she stood behind the wall of the living room. She did a couple of test slides, making sure that they were slide efficient.

"Alright let's do this." She pressed the play button. The first notes struck by the piano blasted through the house. Haruka slid out perfectly, her back to the living room and gave a kick as she turned to the front.

Just take those old records off the shelf I'll sit and listen to 'em by myself

"Today's music ain't got the same soul," she sang, and jumped on the fluffy white couch. She was having a ball and smiled as she jumped from the couch, letting loose a quick kick before landing. She sang her heart out as she found a pair of black shades and quickly put them on her face. A devilish grin flashed on her face. Michi wasn't here. She glanced around until her eyes landed on their target. It looked pretty sturdy, the oak coffee table in the center of the large room. She could totally dance on top of it. Hopefully Michiru's hearty meals hadn't impaired her awesome physique. She looked down at her toned abs and her eyes grew slowly. Is that a bit of flab? Dare she say it, a roll? Then there was no way in Hell she was going to do the table dancing. It'd be hard to explain if it did give under her weight and she'd be living on the couch for an eternity. Which would be that long under her circumstances. She then shook her head, the thought falling from her mind. She went for the next best thing: the sacred couch. This couch was literally used only when Michiru's parents came to visit. That was only one a month.

"Aww to hell with it," Haruka said and launched herself onto the expensive blue fabric, laughing her head off as she kicked the air frantically.

"I like that old time rock and roll!!" She sighed as the song faded out.

"That was great," she said to no one. Grabbing the remote she stopped the CD and ran a hand through her crazy blond locks. She was breathing heavily when she eyed the controller in her hands. Smirking she raced up the stairs and switched the CD, and soon AC/DC blasted through the speakers.

Michiru and crew returned two hours later. She walked into the living room searching for our blonde haired rocker. Her eyes grew in horror as she saw the state of the couch. The suede material was strewn in different directions and surprised eyes fell on a pair of black sunglasses. Her shocked oceanic eyes practically lit ablaze in anger. Setsuna and Hotaru's hair stood on end as they walked past.

"Come Hotaru, let's get out of Michiru's way, okay?"

"Don't have to tell me twice." They bolted.

"Ohh that woman is so dead! Let's just hope my friend was up and running." She smiled toward the mantle on the fireplace and a small, barely noticeable shine came from it. Michiru saw the red dot flashing and, though very uncharacteristically, let slip an evil cackle. She walked over to the fireplace and pushed a button behind the device, the red light vanishing instantly. She would have her revenge. It was all in due time.

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Ohh Michiru is plotting. You'll see what happens next…after the break!


	5. Misinterpretation

Yes readers I live! Decided to update on a lenient day of homework. Not my best but wanted to put this up. Someone help with this chapter's title?

No creative, quirky disclaimer today. Don't own Sailor Moon, or the commercial, which is Yoplait.

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Chapter 5: Misinterpretation (?)

It is a bright and sunny fall day outside the Tenou, Kaiou and Meiou household. Setsuna is outside with a five-year old Hotaru who was jumping into piles of red, yellow and brown leaves twice her size.

Michiru and Haruka are found in the kitchen, the latter heaving a magnificent sigh and dragging herself to the stainless steel refrigerator as the former continued to chatter with her friend Sakura.

Haruka huffed, blowing hair from in front of her face. 'I love her to death but I absolutely detest how long she talks on the phone! It's pushing an hour! To think how many things we could do in that span of time.' A sly, Cheshire Cat-like smile spreads across Haruka's face. But it disappears as she stares longing into the cold steel then closes the door.

"T-There's no food…" She begins to sulk

Michiru's POV

Out of the corner of my eye I can see Ruka physically deflate like a little balloon. She was forging for food and talking to herself. She must be hungry. I feel my lips give up a mischievous smile; I may just mess with her seemingly broken conscience right now. The voice chattering in my ear stops.

"Michi-chan?"

"Huh? Oh I'm sorry Sakura-chan. It would seem that I…zoned out." A bright laugh rings pleasantly through senses.

"I guess my diet talk is boring you." She stifles a giggle; I reply with my own.

"No I was just observing my other. She's acting like a child because there's no junk food in the house. Yep no sweets at the moment."

"Oh that must be a sight. The great Haruka Tenou reduced to a sniveling wreck because of an empty stomach." We laugh, and Haruka weakly glanced at me. I bite my tongue and begin to whisper.

"Sakura, I going to mess with her for a bit. Care to play along?" I get a rousing approval from the other line.

"So about this diet talk. First off, which one are you on?"

"South Beach," she says, "a real good one at that."

"Yeah I heard that one was great."

"What about you?" Even under the circumstances, I was caught off guard.

"What?" I say as Haruka groans loudly and lay on the counter, looking like Death.

Haruka's POV

I'm about to keel over my stomach is growling so intensely. Birds were frightened from trees, squirrels fled to their sanctuaries in the treetops, dogs within five miles of the house yelped and ran, tails tucked between legs.

I glance outside and swear that I see vultures beginning to circle. I groan, my head softly hitting the granite countertop again.

"My diet?" Michi says. Diet? My Michi cannot be on a diet. I chuckle, shaking my head. Then an intense pang of hunger freezes my action. My lungs fill quickly with oxygen.

"Well yesterday I had an Apple Turnover. Mmhmm I know; it's sort of my weakness." My ears perk quickly as my head turns to look at Michiru. What? Apple Turnover? No it must be the hunger that is causing me to hear things.

"I always keep it in the house." Without a thought I begin to search the area for this so called Apple Turnover that existed somewhere in the kitchen. Gently throwing open cabinets I frantically look for any secret compartment.

"Well that and Boston Cream Pie, White Chocolate Strawberry." I look and look then stop. 'Nothing. There is nothing in any of her secret places. The only place left is the fridge.' My body turns toward the appliance and threw the door open. Then her words float into my ears.

"Yeah. Yeah and mmm Key Lime Pie." It felt like being shot in the side when I heard her say that. Key Lime Pie is my favorite; how could she not share with me? There's got to be some in here. I push around the stacks of nasty yogurt to see more vegetables and fruit. A groan escapes my throat.

" Yeah, I've already lost some weight." I freeze. How could she be losing weight eating all that stuff? It doesn't make any sense. I try again to look for these hidden sweets and in the process knock over about three of the stacked yogurts.

"Babe, what are you doing?" My head peaks out from behind the door.

"Umm…I didn't do it?"

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Well there you go. Review, please. I am dead inside from school and would like a review or two to brighten my day. And if you don't, you won't get the next chapter. Mata ne!


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